Wedding vent #3: the groom's family

I love my fiance, what I don't love is his family. Now, I realized that when I marry someone, I'm marrying their entire family. Don't get me wrong, they are great to me. I met his mom and his dad and his family twice. They were more than welcoming. More importantly, they allow us the freedom to live our own lives, as they are 3,000 miles away. With that said, I've learned to adore them.

Fast forward to 2.5 months before the wedding. Joe loves his family, and he is always more than willing to forget their faults, particularly those of his dad's, and there are quite a few. Since he had never done anything to me, I can't particularly dislike the man either. It just pisses me off when he disappoints Joe, or does something so unbelievably un-fatherly that makes Joe sad. Case in point, Joe called the house to wish him and his wife and family a Happy Thanksgiving. No return calls. Joe's birthday came in mid December and he waits anxiously for a phone call from his father. Midnight comes and go. No phone call. Christmas and New Year came, and due to the disappointments of the previous two occasions, Joe was pissed enough to not call them. He broke down and called his father a few days after New Year.

It's sad to see that Joe so disappointed, given the circumstances. He's the only of the children who is living 3,000 miles away, who has been away for over 8 years now, who rarely gets to see his families over the holidays, who previously had spent all of the holidays by himself before he met me, who calls everyone on their important dates to show that he is thinking of them, who calls his father from Iraq on his birthday when he was stationed there. It is disappointing to know that the same favor cannot be returned to a man who always have access to a telephone but is negligent enough to not use it to brighten his distant son's day. It is so completely devastating actually. It is a battle each day for me to not pick up the phone and call my future father in law to scream, yell and knock some sense into him. It's completely messed up how some people take so many things for granted.

Now comes the wedding. They know about this wedding since day one. Now that it's two months out, his father has yet to book his flight or show any intention of coming out here for the big day. Whenever he speaks to Joe, he speaks of the lack of money and the current economic conditions, all of which are very real things. All I have to say is that he has to make it, even without his wife and Joe's two half-siblings. His father has to make it or it will completely break Joe's heart. As someone who constantly sees his struggle to disown and forgive his father, I am prepared to do everything in my power to get him here, even if I have to purchase a $1,000 ticket and overnight it to him. The point is that Joe should not have to go through all of these struggle with his father, and I should not have to see his heart break like a 5 year old every time his birthday comes around and his father forgets. We are prepare to take these lessons and not do what father does when we become parents.

If people are not prepared to have children, they should not procreate so much! There are so many children out there whose hearts are breaking because of their parents, be they 5 year old or 25 year olds.